I cried till the tears were tired of flowing out. Did I just loose… The red stain on the bed. It all happened in minutes. The horror film then began.
“I’m sorry love”. Sorry? Love?
We were friends, very good friends, and he’s been inviting me to come visit him. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going ‘cos I didn’t see the need. He’s a “Christian” like myself so no qualms… We ate, talked and laughed heartily. Then… somehow… I can’t even explain what came over us… that was it.
That’s just a fictitious picture of stories I’ve heard and read about lots young girls. I know they aren’t strange to you either. The sexual purity of a good number of girls, in a physical way, was compromised through – a drug-rape, date-rape, or a deliberate but unplanned sexual act. And these are direct fruits of unguarded – goings and gestures.
Yes, I’m aware of a lot of others who were/are being gruesomely sexually abused. My heart really goes out to you! God’s purity and healing is sure for you as – you and we all join you to – speak out!
But yet, lots of other cases of sexual misconduct will be avoided if we appropriately guard our – Goings and Gestures.
The foolish woman in Proverbs 7: 9-13 shows us an example of such unguarded life – “In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night: And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart. (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.) So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him”.
Did you just see that picture in the life of lots of young girls today? She’s all over the place, hopping from one house to the other, one “come and escort me” with a careless and Godless girl, another let’s attend this party here and that show there. She flaunts her body flagrantly – for the attention, the thrill, the sense of power, “being pursued” and “I get what I want” it gives her…
So girl, if you want to know why and how you must guard your Goings and Gestures, come with me…
The Onshore Visitation Trip
“And Dinah the daughter of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land. And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her” (Genesis 34: 1-2).
You see how this daughter of Israel embarked on a careless, aimless, compromising visitation; and what it got her into.
So sis, for the sake of practicality, and a passionate plea for watchfulness, I’ll share some precautionary tips that helps me and lots of other Godly young women (even married ones) in this area. Here we go –
- Avoid visiting a boy/brother alone, especially if he lives alone (even married ones): You could go in the company of a Godly girl, if you have to visit. Not an ungodly runs girl who might have planned to lure you into being drugged and raped, or entice you into an immoral relationship. That’s why as a Christian girl, you shouldn’t even make an unbeliever a close friend. She could set you up for a downfall. Remember Amnon and Jonadab (2 Samuel 13). On the other hand, such visits could result to sexual abuse or you being seduced into an immoral act. Be wise! ” Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established” (Proverbs 4:26).
- Avoid ungodly parties: Yes! You know those kind of mostly night “come let’s just meet with people, eat, drink, and have fun” parties peers invite you to. Don’t consider attending, just give a blatant NO! “But they’ll laugh at me, calling me unsocial”. Don’t worry! When those sheepish followers come back in the morning crying, because they’ve been “used” by one stranger boy there, you’ll be the one laughing. Such parties are just filled with fleshy and frivolous activities – no protection, no accountability, sensually tense air… How would you pursue and preserve purity in such places? Flee youthful lust (2 Timothy 2:22).
- Avoid accepting unnecessary dates: “Is that a sin?” Hold on! You know those wooing “I’ll love to take you on a date” kind of thing… But he’s a friend, my colleague, my boss, a church brother, school mate, what have you… Fine! So he wants to take you on a lunch date today, dinner date tomorrow, and breakfast date the next day, ehhh. Ok! You know the thing with such inappropriate, undefined, careless, unnecessary dates… Casual chats leads to private talks, and intimate discussions, then emotions begin to build, and emotional integrity and purity gradually gets compromised. That’s dangerous enough! But it doesn’t even stop there, it won’t be long before you get physical, and even cross that line you think you’re smart or strong enough to protect. You know about sexual acts done right in the car on their way back from a date. Or how they end up in the next hotel room, or on her bed when he went to drop her off, or on his bed when they “stopped over” at his apartment. “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished” (Proverbs 22:3).
- Avoid being in secluded, isolated, lonely places with an opposite sex: I heard this story of a pastor who got into sexual immorality with a young woman in his church. He and some other youth members visited her house for… maybe a meeting. Others gradually left after the meeting, but he stayed back discussing at length with her. From casual talks, to more personal things, and somehow… they ended in bed. As that married pastor confessed – he never knew he would get into that. Who wakes up in the morning and says, “I’m going to have an affair today”. You just cross smaller seemingly insignificant boundaries, then larger ones… and even when the warning bell goes, you think you’re still in control, or maybe you’re so carried away… And because you’re in an environment that promotes and propels such act, you quickly slide into it. Remember, “He that diggeth a pit shall fall into it; and whoso breaketh an hedge, a serpent shall bite him” (Ecclesiastics 10:8).
“Stay away from places and situations where the natural thing is to do something wrong” (Nancy Demoss)
I’m not saying you should wear a fear cap and suspicion glasses around… No! Enjoy a cordial relationship with your male friends and brothers. But like the bible tells us – be wise as Serpents and Harmless as doves (Matthew 10:16).
The Online Connection Thrill
She meets this guy on Facebook, they become friends, they spend lots of time chatting, she starts discussing intimate matters with him, she feels he cares and understands her so well… Her emotions get so involved, sexual talks start coming in, he requests nudes, she sends… “I’m coming to your town, let’s meet”. She agrees, they meet in one hotel room, she gives in to the act, or is raped… In some cases, she’s even killed, and maybe some body parts removed, or she’s kidnapped…
You’ve heard different versions of such stories, right?
“It won’t happen to me.” Amen! But if you breed long intimate interactions on social media with some stranger guy, what makes you think you’re safe?
The thing with these cyber relationships – social media and online dating sites – is that they could appear safe and satisfying, but they’re just subtle and poisonous. It could so mar your sexual purity on every level – mental, emotional, physical…
More so, what even makes you feel that that guy is really as lovely as he appears to be? ‘Cos when he’s got your heart, the thought of meeting him could even drive you to cross oceans and seas…
Girl, be wise! Don’t court the devil! Invest in tangible friendships. If you’ll have to meet with an online friend, God will orchestrate and direct it in an appropriate way.
Yep! So let’s head over to… Gestures
Do you know that…
Your Body is a Communication Tool
You remember the popular saying – “actions speak louder than words”. Yes! Your gestures – what you communicate with your body – portrays if you’re a wise or foolish person. You remember the flirtatious act of that woman in Proverbs 7…
And girl, do you remember what we discussed last week – that your body has power.
Instead of carrying that body in dignity, portraying the power of true femininity and beauty, lots of girls rather use their bodies as sexual weapons – for manipulation games. They enjoy the sense of power it wields – pursue me, look at me, give me what I want…
But sis, if you’re for sexual purity, you must by all means run away from this community found in the world. It is…
The Community Called “Flirt”
The definition of the name describes its occupants. Flirt means – to behave in a way that shows asexual attraction for someone but is not meant to be taken seriously; to come close to reaching or experiencing something.
Sadly, lots of young girls get entangled in sexual misconduct by actively or passively, knowingly or unknowingly visiting this community.
How?
Dressing to kill, bombing your body into his in full breast to chest embrace, sitting on his laps, inappropriately touching each other – playfully, kisses, giving the seductive look and talks…
Hey girl! Flee this community! It has a known end – death. (Proverbs 6:27)
But there is this other place….
The Community Called “Virtuous”
A wise woman is a virtuous woman, and the bible tells us her price is far above riches. (Proverbs 31: 10).
So what shows that (in this context)… Example, –
You know when a touch is inappropriate and won’t hesitate to say – NO! – and walk away if need be. Even with your side hugs and handshakes, you know who it could be given to, and withdraws or withholds it from anyone when it feels uncomfortable or tense, other things we’ve been discussing in this series, and on and on… You don’t use your body as a sexual weapon – to ensnare men or indulge fleshly desires.
You carry yourself with dignity, charm and suspense!
Yes! A virtuous lady doesn’t just throw herself around and on guys. She knows she has worth – priced above rubies. At the right and ripe time, a Godly man will have to seek God to find her – and gain access to her heart. And as he sees those priceless virtues in her, he’ll be so eager to walk with her into that sacred union – marriage – so he could dig up the whole beauty and treasures embedded in her.
But girl, to possess such dignity, virtue and charm, you have to…
Get Lost In God !
Just in case you’ve compromised any of these areas, or you got exploited and abused. Don’t give up!
Jesus loves you. He’s still right here with arms wide open to welcome you home. Confess any sin to Him, and ask Him into your heart. He’ll give you the grace and power to make wise decisions.
Then, throw yourself in reckless abandon to Him. Get lost in Him. Get ravished in His love. As you spend time in His word (Bible), in communication with Him (prayers), and communion with other believers; He’ll keep molding you into a truly virtuous woman.
Yea! We’re gradually counting down. Hope your “Purity HEDGES” is building up? Next week, we’ll be looking at letter E. And hey! Girls love using this. Make sure your join us next week.
See you next Wednesday!
But before you walk away, I’ll love to hear from you. Drop your comments in the box below. Or, contact me here.
Let’s talk RADIANT PURITY!
Remain Radiant!