“No! No! No!”
“How much time do we give you”? The moderator asked.
“1 hour… 5 hours…”
Recently, I anchored a break-out session – a heart-to-heart talk – with a group of girls.
The allotted time was over; the girls didn’t want the class to end. They wanted to ask more questions. They wanted to hear more. So they didn’t want to give the moderator the space to end that class.
And what were we discussing? Issues related to sexuality and purity.
In my years of speaking to young people, topics around sexuality always come with such “more” reaction, even after the session – Aunty, can I see you later? Can I ask you a question? Can I please get your contact and call later?
So what’s the big deal about our sexuality?
Sexuality: The Story of Love
As Dr. Juli Slattery wrote, “human sexuality is an essential aspect of who we are as children of God. God intentionally created us as sexual beings and intentionally designed our sexuality to be a powerful force”.
You know why it has this powerful force? – It tells a story… The story of love!
The love story of a Groom who gave His life for His bride.
Telling us about the similarity in the union between a married man and woman, and Christ and His bride – the church – Ephesians 5: 25,31,32 says, “ Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church”.
That’s the central theme of our sexuality – that when the world sees this powerful force that invokes the sexual intimacy between a man and woman (in marriage), it would paint the picture of the love of Christ for His bride, the Church.
Like John piper wrote, “The ultimate reason (not the only reason) why we are sexual is to make God more deeply knowable.” Whether married or single, your sexuality is inseparable from your spirituality because it tells the story of the intimate union that follows a covenant relationship.
So, the passion and pleasure of intimacy, the pain of abuse, the hurt of betrayal, the unfulfilled longings and waiting of singleness – they all play a part in telling that story.
The Love Story Got Twisted
Christians, you know, the Devil has never been happy with this redemption story. If there is one thing he has hijacked for this fight, it is the issue of – sexual purity. And you know he leaves no stone unturned in his plot. He has so twisted this picture, and rubbed it on the face of mankind. You look around; everything is filled with twisted sexual scenes and innuendos – billboards, books, music, movies, clothes, conversations – and they are presented as appetizing, fun-filled and consequence free.
Why You Must Speak Out!
When I say, Speak Out, I’m not talking to the worldly system – they’re saying a lot already.
I’m talking to you young girl who’s been abused, and silenced by shame and fear. Dear girl, I want you to speak out to God and someone – your mum, a Godly teacher or older lady around you. I want you to speak out and get out of that pain, because, it’s not just about you and what’s happened to you; it’s about a God who loves you so much and gave His life to save you from that hurt, and then give you a future so bright and whole.
I’m talking to you girl who’s been lost in sexual sins (immorality, pornography, masturbation, lesbianism, etc), and/or struggling to stay sexually pure. Lots of thing could have slammed this on you – Purity, that’s impossible for you. But girl, I don’t want you to just live by what people who know little or nothing about your sexuality have to say; I want you to ask questions and get answers from the right source, discover truth, and live it out. Because, it’s not about what the world says; it’s about a divine love story your sexuality tells, a beautiful human love story attached with purity, and the pain and hurt that comes with trampling on the true picture of your sexuality.
I’m also talking to you, dear Christian parent, teacher, church leader, mentor, etc. If you don’t talk and teach the biblical truth of sexuality, confusion reigns. Not just the “close your legs” and “thou shall not” kind of talk; we need be more proactive in the sexual purity teachings. Because, while most parents and church leaders seem to be reserved in teaching the Biblical view of sexuality, the culture is wild in fixing their twisted sexuality view into any available slot.
A dear friend told me this little personal story. I hope it will somehow help you understand why we all must speak out practically.
If you were brought up in a ‘concentrated’ Christian home (with limited access to the media), you barely hear the S* word mentioned. What you hear is “sexual immorality”, followed by the phrase – “let it not be once mentioned among you”. So what’s the linear conclusion? It is bad – a sin. She was in Junior Secondary School, and in a discussion with other girls (can’t really say what led to that), someone said – parents have sex. Really! Even our pastors, she asked. “Yes”, the girls answered her, laughing. Unbelievable! She got home and asked her mum. Oh, bless that woman! Mum sat her down and explained to her what she needed to know. She was then informed and well guided.
What if she didn’t speak out? What if she didn’t tell her mum, but sought to find answers herself- most probably from peers and the media? What if mum said, “Shut up”! “Keep quiet”! “Who’s telling you that?” What if she wasn’t close to her mum, and didn’t trust she could give her answers. What if her mum just opened her big bible and read out to her – “Flee sexual immorality”, closed her bible, said Amen, and told her “goodbye”. Would that have answered the thousand and one questions in her mind – from what her friends said, to the strange feelings she was gradually experiencing. Her sexual purity boat might have drowned, and her life filled with regrets and “had I known’s”.
So girls, and all concerned – You Must Speak Out! Of course, with a blend of biblical truth, moral decency and practicality.
Therefore my people are gone into captivity, because they have no knowledge: and their honourable men are famished, and their multitude dried up with thirst. (Isaiah 5:13)
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. (John 32:12)
Thus saith the Lord, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. (Jeremiah 6:16-19 )
If this resonated with you, join us every Wednesday, October – November, 2018, for a nine (9) week blog series on RADIANT PURITY! This study will help you discover the truth, dispel the myths and digest the tools for – purity. To find out more and join the study, click HERE.