“Does my dressing have anything to do with sexual purity? And if it is the popular talk of – men get attracted to my body – that should be their problem, they should handle it”.
Really?
The issue of women’s dressing, especially, as a case for sexual purity has raised lots of hot discussions and debates. We earlier discussed why we have to set up HEDGES for sexual purity… Since our body is principally involved in the sexuality and purity talk, we need find out how to appropriately handle/cover that body – by our dressing.
So, is it going to be one of those legalistic “don’t dress attractively” talks?
Not necessarily! We’ll just discuss truth from God’s word backed up with real life issues. I bet, if you have a heart for God’s word, you’ll be challenged to “guard your dressing”.
Ready? Let’s go…
So, the first thing is this…
Why Do We Dress?
You remember where the idea of clothing started? Yes! In the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3).
“When Adam and Eve lived in moral innocence, before their rebellion, nakedness was not wrong or shameful. However, after they sinned, the awareness of nakedness became related to sin and the corrupt condition of humanity. That is, this new awareness would lead to ungodly desires (i.e. the temptation to use God-given desires in ways that contradict His perfect plans for men and women). Because of the evil and immorality that nakedness and temptation would cause the world, God decided that it should be covered. So He made garments and clothed Adam and Eve [Genesis 3:21]” (FireBible Commentary).
And you remember that in Genesis 3:7, Adam and Eve, when they discovered their nakedness attempted sowing up figs and covering themselves with it, but God wasn’t satisfied with the scanty covering it gave them. Therefore, He made coats and clothed them properly.
This has more than just a physical implication, but a spiritual one as well – Our self righteousness isn’t enough… Our idea of what is appropriate or good and bad isn’t enough…
Jesus came to show us the way. If we let Him cover the shame and nakedness of our sins with His blood, we’ll be clothed with/in His glory – and that will certainly be expressed in the way we dress.
So, dressing is God’s idea to conceal/cover shame and nakedness, and restore/reveal His glory and beauty in mankind.
This therefore draws us to the fact that…
Your Dressing is a Statement of Who You Are
The book of Proverbs is filled with comparison of two types of people – the wise and the foolish.
In chapter 7, it tells us about an obviously foolish woman, and the first thing said about her was her dressing – “And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart” (Proverbs 7:10).
And to abort that notion of – “my heart is free ooo, exposing my body doesn’t mean I want to seduce a man” – the bible quickly tells us the situation of her heart. She is “subtil of heart” (cunning/crafty). Because indeed, out of the heart are the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).
So, if this woman through her dressing revealed the foolishness in her heart; a wise woman’s dressing also reveals who she is, and the state of her heart.
1 Timothy 2:9 tells us about the dressing of a wise Godly woman (girl) – “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety…”
No matter how the world paints “modesty” as old fashioned and outdated, it doesn’t change God’s word. However, modesty doesn’t mean dressing in a sloppy, dirty or unattractive way… It means dressing in a respectable and reverential manner, as girls who profess Godliness; rather than in a showy or sensual way.
And remember, our profession of Godliness is built on love – Love the Lord thy God, and love your neighbor as yourself.
If you love God, you’ll obey His word, knowing that indeed – your life is not your own (1 Corinthians 6: 19,20). If you love your brother, you won’t by your dressing, entice him to lust after you. “But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died”. (Romans 14:15)
“But why does my dressing cause guys to lust after me? Why does a certain part of my body showing, and certain parts of my skin exposed seem to cause problems with guys but means nothing to me?” Good question!
Girl, we need to understand…
The Power of A Woman’s Body and A Man’s Eyes
I guess you know this… or just in case you don’t – the feminine form is beautiful, charming and alluring. Scripture and society unites to prove this.
Also, men and women are kind of wired differently – what could spark a sexual desire in a man differs in some ways from that of a woman. The authors of “Every Young Man’s Battle” states it this way – “We have a visual ignition switch when it comes to viewing the female anatomy. Women seldom understand this because they aren’t sexually stimulated in the same way. Their ignitions are tied to touch and relationship.”
In the bible – David was strong enough to confront the dreaded Goliath, but was made weak in his reasoning at the sight of a naked feminine figure. Solomon, as wise as he was, yet wasn’t wise and discrete enough at the sight of women that caught his fancy – he had one thousand of them. Samson lost the source of his strength on the laps of a woman.
Our society hasn’t failed to seize this power – adverts, movies, music, porn… all filled with nudes of women.
I’m not in any way trying to label women as the problem of men; neither do I excuse men from their sin of lust. Yes, they should have – self control.
But girl, I hope that by rubbing their sins back on their faces, we aren’t sounding like Cain…
“Am I My Brother’s Keeper?”
“Everyone should be responsible and answerable for their sins. A boy has no right to sexually exploit a girl just because he felt aroused by her feminine form”. Correct!
But girl, why dress in a provocative and sexually suggestive way? Isn’t it to tantalize a man? So why frown at his sexual advances when you’ve succeeded in arousing it?
If the girls will learn to keep and adorn their body in dignity, the boys, to a high degree will learn to treat them with dignity – not as sexual objects.
The bible calls our attention to being our brothers keeper when it says – “We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification. For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me” (Romans 15: 1-3).
Not that all men are simply weaklings at the sight of a woman; but most men could be drawn to lust after a sensually obvious feminine form – whether married or single, church boy, school friend, neighbor, church leader, teacher… they’re susceptible.
“A Christian man/boy should have crucified the flesh with the lust thereof”. Yes! But “the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh” (Galatians 5:17) That’s why Paul said – “I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection… I die daily” (1 Corinthians 9:27; 15:31). Because, the flesh wants to keep fighting…
So, why make the battle harder for our brothers. And why set yourself up for immorality at the hands of some wild boys whom you’ve succeeded in alluring. When you pour the grains out to the face of the sun, the birds will gather, with their sweet songs; simply because they find it appetizing and good to be eaten – for their bed, nothing else.
“But that’s the way I feel like dressing… just to look attractive”.
Ok! Yes we women love to look attractive. But what do you want people to see when they look at you? What do you want them to be attracted to? Your feminine form and beauty or God’s glory and beauty? Is it all about I, me, and myself?
As Christians, we ought to reject the Hedonistic philosophy of “what I feel like and how it pleases me”.
Even Christ pleased not Himself (Romans 15: 3). He took the pain and humiliation of coming to this world and dying on the cross just to redeem us from sin. He is our perfect example of a life of love and sacrifice.
So girl, to build this HEDGE in our dressing, we need to be wise girls – a girl of discretion (ability to make wise decisions).
Discretion demands that you always ask yourself the question – am I…
Dressing to Kill or Dressing to Keep
Here comes the Elephant in the house… How long is too long? How short is too short? How tight is too tight?
Because this is “Practical HEDGES…”, I won’t miss giving you some practical tips on modesty. But before that, remember – modest attire is a product of a modest heart. It is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth (and the dressing) speaks. There’s no point just changing the attire if the heart is still filthy.
Ask God into your heart today, and He’ll give you a heart for modesty. You won’t have to struggle and debate over what to wear and what not to – the Spirit of God will teach you all things – as long as you submit and obey. You’ll see the need to adorn yourself in modesty, as well as reap the full benefits of obeying God in this area.
So now, let’s look at some…
Wardrobe checklist
In general, a modest attire shouldn’t be showy or sensual. It shouldn’t expose or emphasize the feminine form of our body. Here are some questions to ask yourself as you check up your clothing…
- Is my skirt or dress too short, or slit as to expose my thighs when standing, sitting, walking or bending over. [If yes, kindly put it off, or if possible, suitably adjust it so as not to expose your upper legs when in any of those positions.]
- Does it cling tightly to my body, emphasizing my feminine form – breast, hips and every curve on my body? [Loosen it up to have more allowance. It doesn’t have to be shapeless; it just has to be loose enough as not to emphatically display your curves]
- Are they sleeveless (exposes your busts through your armholes), show back, show breast (even when you bend over)? [You could use fitting and matching jackets and camisoles to wear them. You appear decent and smart.]
- Is it transparent or netted, exposing my under wears and skin. [Dispose them, or put on well covered clothing inside, and wear them on top – to add beauty, style and variety to your dress code].
- Are sexually suggestive words written on it? Words like – hot, sexy, feel me… [Don’t even buy them. They attract undue attention]
You could keep adding to the list, as the Spirit leads you.
Caution: Modesty doesn’t imply being frumpy, dirty, or old fashioned – not paying attention to what you wear. As Royal and Radiant daughters of God, we should dress with a sense of decency, decorum, and delicacy.
Yea! Hope your “Purity HEDGES” is building up? Next week, we’ll be looking at letter G. See… lots have girls have slipped off their feet, and gotten entangled here. You shouldn’t miss this!
See you next Wednesday!
But before you walk away, I’ll love to hear from you. Drop your comments in the box below. Or, contact me here.
Let’s talk RADIANT PURITY!
Remain Radiant!