Do you know that your words are swaying weapons? I mean, your lips have the power to make something happen. Like a strong wind, it can sweep a guy off his feet, and land you both into an ocean of sexual misconduct.
You know, we hear a lot about girls enjoying the feel of sweet words. And like we discussed last week, soaking in inappropriate words through our ears could drag us into cases of sexual immorality.
But you may not have given much thought to, or realized that the “sweet” words of women could actually entrap a man – even strong men like Samson – to the point of reducing him to a piece of bread.
The mind shift discovery…
The Lady With the “Sweet” Lips
When a man who has a ground breaking record of affairs with women (1000 women) makes a statement, you could be sure it’s worth listening to. Right? He’s talking out of experience! And when he repeats that statement over and over, not because he lacks vocabulary (he’s the wisest man that lived); then you know you must pay closer attention to what he said.
I guess you know who I’m talking about. Yes, King Solomon!
In the Bible, he penned down this remarkable statement – about being cautious of the words of women – that he gives as a counsel to young men (and young women also) who want to live sexually pure lives.
Here they are…
Proverbs 2:16 – “To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words;”
Proverbs 5:3 – “For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:”
Proverbs 6:24 – “To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.”
Hey girl! Did you just get a startling pinch? I did when this first got to me.
King Solomon was saying this: guy, listen to this older experienced person here – wisdom demands you live a life of sexual purity, and if you will do that, beware of a woman’s lips… mouth… words… And same to you girls, you want to encourage sexually purity as you work and/or make friends with guys (single or married) around you – guard your speech.
To give a true picture of how a woman’s words could entice a man and herself into sexual sins, he told us this story… (Proverbs 7: 5-7, 13-22)
5 That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.
6 For at the window of my house I looked through my casement,
7 And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding,
13 So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him,
14 I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows.
15 Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.
16 I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves.
19 For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey:
20 He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed.
21 With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.
22 He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks;
What a woman! What a collection of swaying words!
Are you that kind of woman?
“No”, you may say. “She’s a freeky flirt! I’ve not talked a guy into going to bed with me.”
But wait, just take a closer look at what King Solomon said about the words of such a woman…
The Honey-Oil-Flatter Words
Look at those bible verses again, and see what characterizes a “strange” woman’s words.
Yes, she’s called “strange” because –
She’s strange to that man – She’s not his wife, hence shouldn’t be using such words on him.
She’s strange to God and His word – She should have known that she ought to “Put away from thee a forward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee” (Proverbs 4:24).
Her words –
Drip as honey: It sounded “sweet” in the ears; and you know sweet things produce a “want some more” reaction. Till he gets emotionally stringed with, and sick for her.
Smoother than oil: You know how “slippery” it is to walk on an oily surface; not to talk of something smoother than oil. That’s how slippery her words are, that it gets him slipping and falling.
Flatter: To flatter means to praise excessively, especially from motives of self interest. With the spray of flatter, he gets “swayed” into going after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter.
So girl, you see how those sweet words produces slippery grounds that sways him, and of course you, away from sexual purity and into immoral activities.
To guard your speech from this honey-oil-flatter effect, you must…
Watch These Words
Words that –
- Convey Affection Suggestively: Lavishly pouring him endearing words, and stroking his ego with affirmative words – those unrestrained sweetheart, love, I need you, every woman’s dream, one in a million… Is it appropriate to shower all that on a guy who isn’t your husband? No! They fuel emotional connection and intimacy, and therefore threaten purity. Of course, you should be nice… Show gratitude… Compliment people… But, be a wise girl! Choose the words you use. Deep affectionate words should be enjoyed by one man – your husband – when he comes around.
- Craves Attention Subtly: In a world that tells the girls to – “go get anything you want”; the girls didn’t leave getting the boys out of the equation. She wants the attention of that boy; she does everything to get it. She stalks him with words – she calls him always, sings him love poems every morning, uses the “bedroom voice” on him… How special am I to you? If you really love me, do this. I won’t want to spend the rest of my life without you… Feminine mystery and dignity has been thrown to the wind! And girl, when some ungodly guy notices you crave his attention, he will so use your head, heart and body, dump you off when he’s done, and walk away without remorse. “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles” (Proverbs 21:23).
- Causes Allurement Seductively: The dirty, flirty talks. A wise girl shouldn’t be discussing sexually related topics with an opposite sex, for whatever reason. Whether to receive counsel, get an information, or worse still, for the fun of it. “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ephesians 4: 29)
But girl, do you know that…
The Heart is the Fountain of Words
The Bible tells us – “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matthew 12:34).
Yes! So if you want your lips to produce words that stir purity, then, your heart must be a fountain of purity. “Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?” (James 3:11). No!
Although the words of that foolish strange woman in proverbs sounded like “smooth talk”, they were poisonous because they actually came from a heart that was unguarded. Just like Psalm 55: 21 says – “The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords.”
That’s the reason we drummed the need to – Guard Your Heart!
Because a heart not guarded is foolish and/or filthy.
Foolish heart – “A wise man’s heart is at his right hand; but a fool’s heart at his left” (Ecclesiastics 10:2). A wise person pays attention to what she does, as well as says; to ensure it is done appropriately and justly. Where as, a fool does the contrary; she blurts out whatever comes to her heart without giving it a second thought. Don’t be a foolish girl!
Filthy heart – “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,… All these evil things come from within, and defile the man” (Mark 7: 21, 23). If your heart is filled with defiled things, they will sure reflect in the words you speak.
However, if your heart is guarded, the words that will flow from it will be like that of the Virtuous Woman – “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness” (Proverbs 10:26).
To have such lips filled with virtuous words, you need to apply some…
Speech Checks
- Cut the unnecessary, regular, lengthy discussion and phone calls with an opposite sex. “In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise” (Proverbs 10:19). As you spend time, hour after hour, day after day, talking with that boy/brother; the casual talks will lead to intimate discussions that will start spilling out foolish words.
- Don’t engage in long discussion with an opposite sex at late hours; especially the phone calls. Night time creates an air that stirs intimate talks, and even sexual discussions.
- That discussion with him that will make you ashamed if your parents or church leaders were to hear about… Don’t you think it’s questionable? Refrain from such.
- Sharing sexually related issues with an opposite sex, whether leader or friend, could be dangerous. Take it to an older Godly lady or woman.
But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; (1 Peter 1:15)
And yes, those sweet affectionate words; pour it on Jesus. He longs to hear them from you. He’s your love! Hope you know that?
But in case your sins have kept you away from Him, His arms are still wide open waiting to welcome you. Come to Him today…
And then join the psalmist to say – “I will sing of the mercies of the Lord for ever: with my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations” (Psalm 89: 1).
*****
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! And our H.E.D.G.E.S. finally gets completed…
Hope you followed through? If you missed any, just head back and pick it up.
Finally, next Wednesday, we’re going to round up this Radiant Purity Series. Just in case you’re wondering if Sexual Purity is really worth the whole “stress” of even setting up HEDGES; come back next week and find out.
But before you walk away, I’ll love to hear from you. Drop your comments in the box below. Or, contact me here.
Let’s talk RADIANT PURITY!
Remain Radiant!