Girls’ Guide to a Lasting Love Relationship

 

Guy: Can we be friends?

I: Friends? I don’t have enemies so we are friends already.

Guy: I mean close friends. I really love you and will want to get into a relationship with you.

I: Oh really! Thank you. But I am not interested and available for that.

Guy: But you could please think about it and find a place in your heart to let me in.

I: My heart? It’s already occupied so there’s no room to think about it or just let anyone walk in casually.

Guy: Seriously! You seem to be blunt and firm with your answers. Looks like you are already in a relationship with someone.

I: Relationship… Yes I am.

Guy: I see! That person must be very special and dear to you.

I: Absolutely yes! I can’t tread Him for anything and anyone.

Guy: Wow! So who is this special person? What’s his name?

I: His name is…

Sometimes, I’ve had to wriggle through the guy/girl relationship pressure through dialogues like the one above.

The relationship world is a big scene, and one that has grossly engaged numerous young women today.

Yes, as girls grow into the puberty years and then to adulthood, there is this desire to be loved in an intimate relationship with the opposite gender. God carefully placed that in most of us so that it will exploited and beautifully used at the right time, and with the right person – in marriage.

However, many young people misuse and abuse this with what they call a “love relationship”. A girl get into a relationship with a guy who feeds her ears with promises and rehearsed poems of – I love you and promise not to break your heart; we’ll always be together, nothing can come in between us; my love for you is unending and undying; you could add to the list…

Yet, the hook-ups and break-ups among girls and boys caught up in the dating game clearly indicate that such lasting love relationship is a mirage. It is simply a shadow; you think you are catching up with it, it keeps running keeping you more desperate and confused.

I’ve seen lots of girls whose beautiful hearts are being shredded in pieces in what I call –

The Dating Game’s Dead-End Process…

Here, a girl hooks up with a guy who says he loves her, but simply-

  • Deceives her – He professes to love her, but such sensual love negates the true meaning of love.
  • Distracts her – She loses focus of almost everything she does as her mind is constantly occupied in endless fantasy with thoughts of this guy.
  • Defiles her – Before long, she begins to compromise her body, one step after the other, until she gets into the act – sexual immorality.
  • Depresses her – She walks away from the act feeling “I’ve given away something, while the guy feels “I’ve got something”. A speaker called it “The Walk of Fame vs the Walk of Shame”.
  • Distorts her view – He convinces her or she convinces herself that well, we were expressing our love for each other and it was pleasurable. So she forgets or put away everything she’s heard about sexual purity and jealously preserving her body for the special man God has for her. She thinks she was being lied to and denied freedom and fun.
  • Denies her freedom – Then the guy claims ownership of her and monitors every step she takes. Who was that guy that called? Who was that guy I saw you discussing with? Why did you give him your contact? Where are you, and what are are you doing? She claims she is still single, but a married woman has more breathing space than her.
  • Dumps her – Then a little misunderstanding comes up or he/she finds another girl/guy. He simply walks away, and so does she- with a piece of her heart.

Girl, now think about a relationship you are/were in, or that of a friend or a girl you know or heard about. If you’ll be very honest with yourself, you realize that it’s all been swimming, one way or the other, in this “dead-end process”.

Now, I’m not insinuating or painting guys as this ruthless exploiters. They are really wonderful people and I know lots of them who are truly great brothers and friends. In fact, in some of those guy/girl relationships, it’s even the girls who mastermind the process. I just outlined that to draw your mind to the stark reality of what goes on in the dating guy/girl relationships.

So you may be asking – how do I as a single young woman/girl handle my desire for love and intimacy? Is there no man who will truly love me, who as a girl, I could be in a lasting love relationship with without being left heart-broken?

Sure, there is! Singleness is not equated to starvation and suffering as some people think.

But you know why many girls are being marred in this dead-end process – they have been pursuing love relationships in a wrong way and with the wrong guy.

The Love Relationship Every Girl Must Pursue

I want to introduce you to kind of man who will always be in a relationship with you as long as you stick to him. You’ll never get tired of Him because His love is new every morning.

And guess what? He is a unique being; no one else can measure up with Him. He is the man I introduced to the guy in the opening dialogue. So…

I: His name is JESUS!

Hold on! Before you hang your head down wondering what I’m talking about, I’ll explain to you (just like I briefly did to the guy in the dialogue) why I think –

Jesus is the best man every single girl should pursue a love relationship with

  1. He alone can make the promise “I have loved thee with an everlasting love” (Jere 31:3), truly mean it, and never disappoint you, even once.
  2. He is the author of love, hence He possesses all the characteristics of true love (1 Corinth 13:1-8) and never fails nor falter in any.
  3. He commands us to spend our single years in an undivided pursuit of Him. The bible clearly states that “The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband” (1 Corinth 7:34).
  4. He writes the best love story any one can imagine. He created every one of us and knows who is best for us. At the very right time, He will take your precious hand and give in marriage to that special son of His who’s love for you will reflect Christ’s endless love.
  5. He knows and understands your needs more than anyone can. He tells us in His word, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee… (Jere 1:5). He therefore will “supply all your needs according to His riches in glory” (Philip 4:19). No one else can attempt that.

I hope you now agree with me and will join me to chorus “I can’t tread (give-up, exchange) my love relationship with Jesus for anything…”

Now, I’ll share with you a…

Guide to a Jesus-centered Love Relationship

  • Get acquainted with Jesus: If you’ve not yet made Jesus your friend, you sincerely do that by repenting from all sins and asking Him to come into your heart and be the Lord and Saviour of your soul. Having done that, then grow in your relationship with Him by constantly studying His word and communing with Him in prayers.
  • Use all that you have (gifts, talents, skills) to glorify and serve God wholeheartedly. God’s word tells us – “ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God’s” (1Corinth 6:20).
  • Identify the things, people and places that want to gradually mar your relationship with Him and flee from them. The bible enjoins us to “flee also youthful lust” (2 Tim 2:22).
  • Depend on God to write your love story and provide your every need. He promised to “… supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (Philip 4 :19).
  • Exemplify a Christ-centered love relationship to others: As you relate with people, let His love be reflected in you.

So girl, get out of the boy-crazy relationships, and get lost in a love relationship with Jesus.

Remain Radiant!

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