What! I’ll choose sex. Do you know what it’s like? I can’t give it up for anything.
Those were around the words this teenage girl replied to her friend’s dirty joke of – choosing between sex and a large amount of money.
I cringed as I read that. This young girl and boy are Christian home and church brought-ups. They’ve heard a lot of the sexual purity preaching.
But to her, eating that forbidden apple tasted sweet at the moment; so it was worth so much to her. Then, what’s the point being sexually pure. Is it worth it?
A lot of young people, faced with different tempting situations, keep asking this question in different ways…
“We’re in love, and even plan to marry each other. What are we waiting for? Is the wait worth it?”
“Everyone is doing it – hooking up and making out, watching all the steamy things, flirting and just attaching emotionally… They think I’m legalistic and eccentric. I feel alone and missing out on the fun. Why can’t I do it?”
It even gets ironic when you hear – “most of the girls I know who defied sexual purity in all ways are getting “happily married”, and me the purity girl is still here, single” – like a young lady said.
Dear girl, sexual purity could really not be like a bread and butter thing. It has a price! Just like working hard to win a gold medal in an Olympic game has a price.
We talked about building Purity HEDGES. That wouldn’t be as easy as gulping down strawberry ice cream. It’s a radical walk!
The Bible tells us to “mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence...” (Colosians 3:5). To mortify means to – kill, subdue, deaden, suppress, starve… “Your members” implies either the members of your body, or the corrupt affections of the mind which lead us to earthly things. That doesn’t sound like something you cross your legs to do, right?
As Christians, we know that God demands we live a life of sexual purity (1 Thessalonians 4:4), but our permissive society and pressured sexual hormones could at times drive you to wonder…
Is God Antiquated or Against-Fun?
God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He’s the Alpha and Omega. He’s already in the 25th century (if there’ll be one here).
And for His word the Bible – it doesn’t change, it cannot be re-written. Someone rightly said – “the Bible is still relevant for today; in fact, it is more up to date than tomorrow’s newspaper”.
It is humans that change; and our sinful society that teaches us “if it feels good do it” fuels us to keep changing. But no matter what the world decides to define as right or wrong, it can’t change God or His word.
On the other hand, God isn’t a tyrant King who sits on His high throne and dishes out “thou shall not’s” just to make us sick. He isn’t against fun or anti-joy. Come to think of it, He’s the one that created sexuality, and made it pleasurable. You’ll find that expressed on different pages of the Bible.
However, His “thou shall not’s”, “wait”, “NO”… were written to – Guard you and Give you.
Don’t do this, or do this because – I want to guard you from this and give you this.
Like Josh McDowell said, “a generation without moral conviction will crumble under the pressures of a secular worldview.
Girl, to weigh the worth of sexual purity, we need to understand…
God’s Guard and Give Plan
The implication of the decision you make to either say “Yes” or “No” to sexual purity is so grave that the God sternly warns up to – “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body” (1 Corinthians 12:18).
Immorality is of course a sin, just like lying. But the sore thing about it is that you don’t just sin against God; you sin against your own body. It pierces through your whole being – Physical, Spiritual and Emotional/Mental.
Just come with me, let’s count the cost of sexual purity, and find out if it is really worth it – considering God’s guard and give plan.
Spiritual Plan: God wants to guard you from – separation from Him, guilt of sin, loss of true fellowship with other believers, eternal damnation in hell.
God wants to give you – peace and joy that comes from knowing Him, answer to prayers, eternal home with Him in heaven.
Physical Plan: God wants to guard you from – sexually transmitted infections (STI), HIV/AIDS, unwanted pregnancies, abortion, damaged womb and other reproductive organs as a result of abortion or STI’s, shattered dreams and aspirations.
God wants to give you – a healthy and whole life, a beautiful and fulfilled intimacy with future husband, successful life.
Emotional/mental plan: God wants to guard you from – heart break, regrets, addiction to immoral activities, poor self image, shame, ill feelings about love and sexuality, lack of trust, distraction from academics and life’s pursuit.
God wants to give you – a sense of dignity and pride, wholeness, uncluttered emotional intimacy with future spouse, healthy friendships with both boys and girls.
Lots of young girls share sobering stories of how trampling on sexual purity has served them shame and separation for breakfast, unwanted pregnancies and STI’s for lunch, regrets and heart break for dinner. Indeed, “the way of transgressors is hard” (Proverbs 13:5).
“Please help me advice that young girl to be careful with those boys flocking around her”, she told me. Then she flooded my ears with some sickening stories. This pretty girl! At that time, she was living with this student guy. But, she was fed up with her life. She wished she could turn back the hand of time, or find her way back… But she felt the connecting bridge was broken. She had lost track of her schooling, her family member’s trust and love, her relationship with God. She felt she had nothing left, hence was threatened to hang on with this boy who abuses her in every way.
“I just heard about porn, and out of curiosity, I wanted to find out what it’s like. I started watching, and on and on… Now I’m addicted. I don’t know how to stop”, a girl wrote.
“I’ll repent latter”, you say. You think so…? Ok! Even if the devil fails to snatch life from you, and you get the opportunity to repent, of course, God will forgive you. But you may not quickly recover from its consequences.
You remember David, that man after God’s own heart. He probably thought the same way when he fixed his eyes on that naked woman, sent for her, and took her to bed… “I’ll repent latter.” Repent he did, but it cost him lots of sorrow in his family. The stain and scar from that singular fleeting decision and act still sticks to his name. (2 Samuel 11, 12). How painful!
I’m not saying this to scare you and make you feel there’s no remedy for your past sexual compromise. God says “and the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent” (Acts 17: 30).
No matter where you’re standing now…
We Can All Take The Purity Walk Together
We all came into this world as broken people. With no trace of purity – “there is none righteous, no not one” (Romans 3:10).
But the good news is this – Jesus came to give you and I a life that is pure and whole [John 3:16].
No matter how far you’ve walked away from purity, no matter what has happened in the past – How you were abused… how your purity, innocence and virginity was stolen away… or how you ignorantly and foolishly toyed with your sexuality… Jesus arms are wide open to welcome you home as you run to Him today.
You remember that alabaster box woman (Matthew 26: 6-13 Luke 7:36-39). She was labelled dirty by the people. But as she stood behind Jesus weeping, as she poured out the oil from her alabaster box, Jesus didn’t look away from her. He forgave her completely.
He can do that for you today. He says – come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28). Receive His forgiveness and freedom, and walk in His healing and holiness.
Together, let’s all join hearts and hands with the Lord as we take the walk of – Radiant Purity.
Indeed, Sexual Purity is really worth it!
*****
Whew! We finally made it to the end of this epoch blog series.
Thank you Jesus! Thank you for the grace!! Thank you for the great lessons!!!
And to you my dearest reader – Thank you so much for joining me in this series. I hope you are blessed, inspired and challenged.
I’m still open and eager to hear from you. Your testimonies, struggles, questions… Let’s keep talking Radiant Purity.
Just send them to amaka@girlsradiantwalk.com, or send me a direct message on our facebook page.
*****
Breaking news! The response and reactions to this sexual purity series stirred up something in my heart. I wouldn’t want to just walk away from this important issue without leaving you with something to always go back to and refuel your sexual purity engine.
So… I’ll be documenting something for you. A BOOK! I’m praying and working on it. You’ll get it soon. If there’s an issue around sexual purity you’ll love me to really address, feel free to get in touch. I’ll be so glad to hear from you.
Thanks!
Remain Radiant!
Xoxoxo