Have you ever sat to think about that? To let your heart walk through the fabrics of your being, your existence, as you ask yourself this very question – who am I meant to be. As a person, and as a woman. That thirst for “woman” discovery and fulfillment ushered me into the search for femininity. I am female, and I just love it, but I want to be the best of me. You also want that, right? Yes, girl! Ok. Back to my search. As I wandered through the search-land, I bumped into a host of questions and assertions and seeming solutions.
I am a woman, I am equal to a man. I am a woman, I need freedom and fulfillment? I am a woman, why should I submit to “the” man. I am a woman, who said I ought to play “this” role. Despite the firings at the contemporary battlefront, the enemy appears to recruit more soldiers; more women are distressed. Crumbling relationships and marriages. Dashed dreams and future.
And yes, not just that. I remember getting books like, “How to act like a lady”, “The woman after God’s own heart”, this woman… That lady… The other girl… books and articles and audios and videos. I just want to unravel this whole feminine mystery.
As I walked through the search, after a sickening wandering, I jumped into man’s Manufacturer’s guide – the Bible. Eureka! Everything began to make sense…
Where it all begins
Femininity is the sum of all attributes that define womanhood. Understanding the soul (essence, nature) of Femininity starts from a grasp of 2 fundamental things – creation and Christ-likeness.
Visiting the creation story, (Genesis 1 and 2), we read how God (the Trinity) said, “let us make man in our image, after our likeness“. So girl, swallow this first truth – you are an image-bearer of God, and He desires you unapologetically live it out. As His image bearer, He has given you the capacity to be fruitful, and have dominion over things around you. You’ve got the power to speak things into being. To make a mark in your world. Your being female shouldn’t make you settle for less. Rise up, girl!
Then, before your birth into this world, God already had a plan. He created you a woman, in your mum’s womb, for a purpose. That feminine uniqueness can’t be swept under the carpet, because, it speaks a volume about your “why” on Earth. You’ll discover that as we ride on.
Christianity is more than a title, it’s a lifestyle. Like Catherine Booth said, “the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman“. On point! Contemporary society has its own view and philosophy at war with God’s standard and design. What makes a Christian a Christian is her willingness to say “yes Lord”, to submit to God’s word despite the world’s ideologies, or what she feels suits her more.
And to be honest girl, biblical femininity is not a bread and butter delicacy for the natural/carnal woman. For two reasons. One, those biblical terms people kick against – e.g. submission, surrender, selflessness – are not our default nature. It’s like a struggle, a battle with yourself. It is the “Christ in you” that enables you to live out such life. (Galatians 2:30) Two, swimming against the tide is choking. There could be mockery, and misunderstanding and maligning. But see the sweet part – it is not for nothing. The fulfillment and freedom and fun you long for are graciously buried in the ocean of Biblical, Radiant Femininity. Dive in, and sweetly swim!
The need for the woman
An interesting drama played out in Eden before you were created. It climaxed when God said, “it is not good…”. What a minute! God had been saying “it was good” about everything He created. Then, he noticed a great vacuum. Something was missing. There was nothing else to fill that role than – you – a woman. “I will make him an help meet for him…” was the description of the place and position the “woman” was being designed to occupy. But, how sad. That word help is being attacked by the mainstream philosophies. “Why?” It has been misunderstood. Simple. You mention it, they tag it to weakness and slavery.
To help means to assist or support someone: just like a mum will assist her child to put on her cloth or do his homework; or friendly support to carry out a task. Does that paint mum as being weak, or the friend as a slave; not at all. In fact, it shows you – the helper – is embedded with treasures that someone needs. Is that not awesome, girl? Is that not what we desire? To be needed (in the right sense). To be fulfilled. To leave a footprint.
Come to think of it, even God, in various verses of the scripture, admitted to being our helper. “… But in me is thine help” Hosea 13: 9, “I will help thee…” (Isaiah 41:10). Is God a weakling or a clumsy slave? No way!
So you see, this unique role, you, a woman, is designed for, is one that we play alongside with God.
This scriptural verse nailed it – “that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace” (Psalm 144:12).
Cornerstones!? A cornerstone is a stone that forms the base of the corner of a building, joining two walls. It is an important quality or feature on which a particular thing depends or is based – the foundation, base, bedrock. You are a helper – to a man (your husband – at the right time) and mankind – not because you are second class, but because you’re a cornerstone. If you leave your position, the house crumbles. This now makes sense to me why the Bible says “a wise woman buildeth her house, but a foolish one pulls it down with her own hands” (Proverbs 14:1). You see! If you step out of your place in the architect of mankind, the house crumbles.
And talking of how our role so much resembles that of Christ… Ephesians 2:20 says – “Jesus Christ Himself being the Chief Cornerstone”. How do you see that? You playing a role so similar to that of Christ. Shouldn’t that make you a “proud girl” indeed?
Now, the cornerstone that God desires we live out, must be polished. Yes! That’s what makes it befitting for the palace. Priced above rubies. A phenomenal helpmeet. A Woman. So what provides this beautifying polish?
Check out the next study to find out.
“The woman who misses that fundamental truth ironically missed out the very thing she has set out to find. By refusing to fulfill the whole vocation of womanhood, she settles for a caricature, a pseudo-personhood.” ( Elizabeth Elliot)
You, dear girl, cannot afford to be a pseudo-person. It’s time to embrace the soul of Femininity.
P.S. We’ll dig into this in our soon-to-be-released book. Get ready to grab your copy.