Are “Feelings” a Test of True Love?

Are feelings a test of true love?

What is love? 

That was the most Googled question in 2012.

You find love explained in so many ways, yet lots of people are still caught in the quagmire of the consequences of love.

How do I know if he truly loves me? He said I should prove my love for him. We’re so much in love that we can’t wait. He betrayed my love for him… how do I get over it?  How do I break up this immoral relationship when I’m in love with the person? 

An ocean of love questions. 

So, if you can’t define love, how do you know you’re in love, or how do you know you’re being loved? You can’t!


That’s the root cause of the problem: We’ve not allowed what we think is love to pass through an identification test. 


You get the goose pimples, hear the sugar coated words, look into the searching eyes, feel the cut breath and shivers running down your spines at the sight of the object of love – the love feelings.


Viola! You jump into the love boat, and then, it throws you into the river… That boat was leaking.  

Why? The love active ingredient/base was missing.

“So what is this active ingredient?”

Ok! Before we unravel that, lets understand…

The Truth About Feelings

Dictionary explains love as – emotions. Merriam Webster says it is “a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person.”

A feeling is an awareness by your body of something in it or on it.

Lisa Feldman Barrett, in her book – How Emotions Are Made – dissects the genesis of emotions and feelings. “An emotion is your brain’s creation of what your bodily sensations mean, in relation to what is going on around you in the world. Basic feeling from pleasant to unpleasant, from calm to jittery, and even completely neutral, are produced from an activity called Interoception. Interoception is your brain’s representation of all sensations from your internal organs and tissues, the hormones in your blood, and your immune system. Interoception is in fact one of the core ingredients of emotion, just as flour and water are core ingredients of bread.”


Don’t mind the jargons. Just grab the talk and leave the grammar…

The talk is this: our feelings are not zombies controlled by some remote somewhere.


With this understanding of feelings and emotions, could love be feelings? I mean the love talked about by Love Himself. As … tells us – GOD IS LOVE. 


God Commands Us to Love


“Drink this juice, you’ll enjoy it.” “Attend that show, you’ll be happy.”


Have someone once told you to do something, and expect a reward – happiness, enjoyment. But, after you did it, the result was nil – no enjoyment, no happiness. You even wondered what was special about it. 


Yes! Emotions and feelings aren’t commanded. 


You can be told to do the task, but the feelings thereafter can’t be controlled by the person’s command. Various simulations and predictions going on in your body produces the feelings, as discussed above.
God, in various passages in the Bible, gives us the command – “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”.


If love was simply feelings, God won’t command us to do it. He can’t send us on a mission impossible.


But, there are different kinds of love, you say.


Well, people have given some classifications. In the book “the four loves, by C.S. Lewis, he calls them – Philia, Eros, Storage, and Agape. Those classifications are just like different flavors of Ice cream – strawberry, vanilla, chocolate, mint…  It can’t be called an ice cream without the active ingredient – cream. The “cream” is the base, without it, you simply have flavor drink. 


There’s a love base/active ingredient. 
In our relationship with God, others, and even between husband and wife, this is the love Christ was more concerned with – rather than physical sensations/feelings. Because, He knows that where this love thrives, other kinds/flavour will naturally follow…


The Love Base 

“Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”(Mark 12: 31)


Throughout various passages of the bible, in which God gave us the command to love, the Hebrew translation of Love is – Agape. 
Agape means – divine love. The love implanted by God.

Also, when the bible says “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”


How do you love yourself?


Ephesians 5:28 gives us a clue  – “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:”


Love seeks to nourish and cherish – Physically, spiritually, mentally, socially. 
To nourish means – to cause (something) to develop orgrow stronger. To cherish means  to remember or hold (an idea, belief, etc.) in a deeply felt way.


When you love someone, would you do something that would harm the person, snatch away or mar the person’s future -through pregnancy, STD, emotional trauma, and eventually destruction in hell, if salvation is not obtained.

I bet, No!


“Hey! Happy Valentine’s Day! I love you and I want you to show that you love me by committing immorality with me. You will be depressed and dismantled – spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally – after our show of love.”


What??!!


Yes, that’s what the feelings-love means when he says “do it, so as to prove your love for me”.


Talking abour loving others as you love yourself. What if you don’t love yourself, or know how to love yourself?

Sorry! You can’t have the experience and thrill of true love.


Wait! Don’t walk away. I’ve got good news for you.


LOVE loves you so much, and wants to dwell within you. He wants you to as well love Him.


That is the first and greatest commandment: “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” (Matthew 22:37)


When you love God, He plants the seed of love within you.

How do you love God? “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” Simple! Make Jesus the Lord and Saviour of your soul, and obey His word. Then, the acts of love, as written in 1 Corinthians 13 will flow freely out of your bowels.


 

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (1 Corinth 13: 4-7)


Now, back to our question: Are feelings true test of love? 


Hope we’re echoing a uniform answer.
NO! (But if you’re still not sure about it, just talk to me in the comment section, or contact me if you want privacy).


Yes, feelings can add flavour to Agape, but feelings without Agape is an empty calorie.
No nutrient! It will just make your heart obese, a disease condition called “lust”. 
When lust has yielded more fruits – immorality – it leads to death.


So dear, pass those feelings through the love test.


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Remain Radiant!

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